Book Trailer The Noble Train

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

My Dream of Anthony Wiener

I am walking down the hallway of my daughters elementary school and there's Anthony Wiener grading papers in Mrs. Trossens third grade room. I walk in and he looks up and I find it quite natural he should be grading papers because all Congressman have to teach. Don't ask me why this is, but it's my dream ok? So he smiles and he's very small and we make small talk for a while and then we are walking down the hallway. He's much thinner than on television.

I don't really care about what you did I tell him. He smiles and says thanks so much. I mean I agree with your positions and we really need someone like you in the House. He just smiles and agrees and I tell him he can send pictures of his wiener to anyone he feels like and that doesn't bother me. He thanks me again. I'm not sure where we are walking but we just keep walking down hallway after hallway. I mean I don't agree with Ed of the Ed Show. He says you should resign but Ed lives in a glass house. Anthony thanks me again as we turn another hallway.

The Republicans just want to get rid of you. Brightbart and all those guys are like Darth Vador. I notice Anthony is getting smaller as we walk. In fact he is shrinking so much his shirt is loose. I agree with Rachel Maddow. Look at all the Republicans who have stayed in power and have boffed other people and cheated on their wives, all you did was send some pictures of your wiener. Anthony says thank you again but the dude is getting really small now. It's like I'm talking to a midget.

So we stop outside another classroom and Anthony is practically on the floor. So don't resign. Hang in there. Don't let the bastards get you down. Brightbart lives for this. They are the bad guys, you're just a guy who  sent his wiener around. Anthony is so small now I can barely see him. Did you ever think of writing a book about it? You might think about a book about your social media addiction...I think it would really sell. But Anthony is gone. He shrunk away to nothing. Weird dream, right?
Rocket Man will be published on July 26th

Books by William Hazelgrove