Book Trailer The Noble Train

Monday, September 19, 2011

The Republicans Sent Be A Buck

Nobody should call the Republicans cold hearted. They sent me a dollar. I received an envelope in the mail with a crisp dollar bill and a request to fill out a financial questionnaire. I really have to rethink all my previous notions about this party. True they want to get rid of Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security and not tax the wealthy, but they did send me a true blue dollar bill. With a dollar I could get a cup of coffee. Alright, it would be a small cup of coffee and it might be from Seven Eleven, but when was the last time you got a cup of coffee from any political party?

So now I have to fill out my questionnaire. Hmmm. You are not better off today than four years ago, are you?  Not really. You aren't one of those losers on social programs, are you?  Not yet. The wealthy really should keep their money, don't you agree? Well, no. Don't you agree Obama is a terrible President who probably wasn't even born here? Wait a minute. How bad off are you under the Democrats? Something is wrong here. Isn't Eric Cantor a man of the people? Hmmm. Rick Perry and Mitt Romney will save the country, right? That isn't a question at all. Shouldn't a man die who is stupid enough to not buy health care? I'm not sure about this. Isn't it great how many people were put to death under Rick Perry? What's this have to do with economics? Isn't Sarah Palin smart and sexy in a Minnesota you betcha kind of way? Now hold on here!

I stopped filling out the form and stared at my crisp new dollar. I mean getting a dollar in the mail takes me back to when I used to get a buck from my grandparents for my birthday. I would always take it and buy a candy bar. But to think I could be bought for a dollar, in the immortal words of Rick Perry: Frankly, I'm offended. So I put down my pen and the self addressed stamped envelope and stared at the Ronald Reagen stamp. Who do they think they are fooling?

I get it now. Buy off the middle class for a lousy buck! Silence the dissenting voices against the powers that be for a dollar. It almost worked. They threw sand in my eyes, but I see what's going on here. Well, you have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool this cowboy. So I threw the envelope and the survey in the trash and drove to 7/11 with my Republican dollar. I bought a candy bar and threw down my buck and felt like a kid again.  Hey buddy, you still owe me fifty cents.

Wow, times have changed.

Rocket Man....the story of one mans search for the new American Dream...James Frey

Books by William Hazelgrove