Book Trailer The Noble Train

Friday, December 16, 2011

If only the Country were a Republican Debate

And better yet a Republican debate run by Fox News. Then Newt wouldn't seem so churlish. Mitt wouldn't seem so mushy. Ron Paul wouldn't seem like somebodies crazy uncle. Michelle would still seem a little nuts and Ric Santorum would still by the yappy dog with the crooked nose. Everyone would still ignore Huntsman. And Ric  Perry would still be embarrassing. After that everything would be perfect.

First of all with a Republican country everyone would be white so none of that squeamishness. Obama simply wouldn't exist. There would have to be absolutely no pandering to independents. None of that squeamishness about about people who dont work. It sounds like rubber dropping off their lips anyway when they talk about people hurting. No more faux socialism. Just straight out cut cut cut to you drop and the last man standing wins. Period.

Abortion and gun control could finally be straightened out. No abortions and everyone gets a gun including bazookas. All this namby pamby registration stuff could just go away. And the NRA could finally become an agency of government. The wall on the border could be completed with the alligator moat and the invasion of Mexico started. Iran could be nuked quickly and we could colonize the Middle East or at least turn it into one giant service station with a pipeline to the states.

And the military could move into the White House with the General next to the President. One religion (Christian) and finally get rid of those silly agencies, Dept of Ed, NACCP, Dept of Energy, the EPA, the Fed, the Congress (not really needed since everyone is Republican) the house, in fact if everyone was the same we probably could just use the White House and rent out the other buildings for Pat Roberts seminars on Christian theology and Amway presentations. The Democratic party would be declared illegal. Poor people could be deported along with all those Mexicans.

But alas, there is that other party. Damn. Always someone mucking up a perfectly good country.

Books by William Hazelgrove