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Monday, March 7, 2016

Bernie Gets Crabby with Madam President

He still packs them in. Why not? Free college. Knock out the student loans. Life is good. Universal health care. Millennial dream man. Bernie the wild professor with the shock of hair railing against those crappy Wall Street guys who threw everyone under the bus. Of course his millennials are pretty rarefied people. White suburban college graduates with big time student debt. Poor babies. Uncle Bernie will take care of you. All he has to do is ask Mitch McConnell and the boys to play ball and you know pay for college tuition. Walk in the park. 

But Bern is getting crabby. He cut off Hillary last night. I'm talking he snapped. Whooh. The Vermont Socialist is getting testy. Could it be a Millennial hangover? All those people hanging out in mom and dads basement are good at making calls and going to rallies but you know dude, ah I didn't register to vote. Oh I overslept while surfing for a job and working my three part time gigs while mom and dad make my student loan payment. 

Bummer about the Bern but you know I'm not really into that political thing. What happened to free tuition? Dad is a corporate man that is beholden to Wall Street the dudes the Bern wants to torch. And that five hundred thousand dollar house is held by a bank that sits on Wall Street too. Well I just live in the basement and you know I'm trying to find a better gig. I feel the Bern man. Oh wow. Did they already have the election? Did that billionaire dude win?

Books by William Hazelgrove