ABC WORLD NEWS TONIGHT INTERVIEW ON TITANIC

Friday, September 19, 2008

The Second New Deal

How do you like the new bank? It has thousands of atms and free checking and free savings. You can write a check anywhere on anything and it will be honored. Drive up service is not a problem. Just open your trunk and they will slide the money in. Now the advertising is a little weird. The old guy with the white beard and the red white and and blue top hat--that's a little antiquated and it really doesnt project the image of a modern cyber bank. But we're working on that. I'm thinking a man with a pitchfork next to a large bale of cash. Sort of the yoeman thing, bailing cash into the furnace to keep the ship moving. It would appeal to most working Americans since this bank belongs to everyone. Also, the spokessman for the bank, the guy from Texas with the accent--not really going to play very well with hip urbanites. I mean, come on, the suit and Rose Garden backdrop, it's not like he's the President or something. And all those stodgy guys behind him-white guys at that--got to go. I'm thinking maybe some African Americans surrounded by Chinese and Russian looking guys and girls. I mean our pitch on this bank is we are the everyman bank--the global bank and we'll lend to anybody. Your credit does not matter. It really doesn't. It's not like you made a bunch of bad investments and bought a bunch of worthless securities or something. No. We are the friendly bank, the kind Uncle bank. On second thoughts, the guy with the top hat isn't so bad. Kind of a throw back thing. You know we could call him something...I don't know, Uncle something of other...just a name, you know, some kind of name that makes you think of an Uncle who comes in and saves you right after you did some totally bonehead thing, like buying crappy stocks or something...I mean Joe, George, Jimmy....you know Sam might not be bad.

Books by William Hazelgrove