Book Trailer The Noble Train

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A Business Dinner with Mr. Cain

Oh Mr. Cain this is such an expensive restaurant. Only the best for my little chickadee...ha ha ha. And I upgraded your room to the honeymoon suite. Oh that is so nice of you. My pleasure. I cant tell you how much I appreciate you helping me get a job with the restaurant Association. My pleasure. You can always count on me to help women in distress...ah waiter  more champagne. And now I am going to sing you a little song.

Imagine there's no people. Its just you and me. No one to say we did something naughty, no lawyers too. Imagine there s no birth control, its easy if you try. You just tell me when and I pull out and you can finish me off too... Ah...well, Mr. Cain, that is a very interesting song. Yes, I wrote it at BK U when I was working my way up the ladder. I started at the bottom which is a position I prefer by the way. Oh... And then I took over Godfathers Pizza  and look where I am now. You certainly succeeded Mr. Cain. You bet your sweet buns I did. Ah, check please waiter.

You really don't have to give me a ride Mr. Cain. No no. The back of a limousine is where I prefer to carry on...ah negotiations...ha ha. I see. Now...I know you want a position, what do you prefer, top or bottom? Mr. Cain, what are you doing with your hand? know what I'm doing. Mr. Johnson is calling. MR. CAIN. Here baby, you know what to do. Let go of my head, Mr. Cain! You want a job don't you? I have a boyfriend Mr. Cain! Now I'm not into any of that three way stuff, but if you have a girlfriend then I can be open to that.

Mr. Cain, let me out of the car! Maybe I didn't tell you the particulars of the nine nine nine plan. I get to use my nine condoms and you get me off nine times and I give you nine job interviews. Mr. Cain I am very uncomfortable with this. Well let me make you more comfortable. Imagine that you want a job and you'll service Mr. Johnson, its easy if you try. LET ME OUT MR. CAIN! don't want the job? NO! Well maybe you didn't understand my nine nine  nine plan. You keep your mouth shut for nine years. I give you nine months salary and you cap me off nine times before you go. And by the way, if you turn around the first number you get the 69 9 plan baby!

LET ME OUT. Aw shuckey wukey. There you go running out in the rain. Drive on. You remember our agreement now. Nine Years Baby! See that is the problem. People just don't listen to you . She obviously didn't understand the fundamentals of the Nine Nine Nine Plan. Hmmm....hmmm.... you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm no the only one....I hope one day you'll join me when I run for President....
Yeah Baby!

Books by William Hazelgrove