Those Oscar Blues

So American Hustle didn't win. So Gravity didn't win. So Matthew McHero  is himself in ten years. So Ellen DeGeneres gave movie stars pizza. So Jim Carey was really funny. So we saw U2 being the last Great Rock band again. So we saw lighting and set design people accept Oscars for things we never knew existed. So it seemed everyone died last year. So Robert Deniro said writers are twisted and neurotic...at least someone got something right. It still was the top of the mountain for just about anyone on the planet. At least for a night.

And then we watched a  movie from a book written by a slave a hundred years ago win Best Picture and beat out 2001 A Space Oddity. And maybe Matthew McHero should have said something about AIDS instead of rambling about himself. Maybe we just all want to live where it is warm now and look like a million bucks in a dress or a tux. And what are those after the Awards parties like? Does Bono ever take off his glasses? Does the Edge take off his hat? Probably not.

And how did Pink become everywhere. And wasn't there someone else who could have sung Somewhere over the Rainbow than the bionic woman who is so blond she looks like a Goddess from the planet Teutonic. But she does spin very nicely at the Grammys and so it was different to see her with her clothes on . And so we are left with that funny feeling again that Mickey Rourke cited in the movie Diner while staring at a rich woman riding a horse..."did you ever wonder that there is something going we  know nothing about?"

Absolutely.

www.williamhazelgrove.com
The PItcher...Sometimes a dream is all you have

Dreams of Oscar

Everyone can see themselves making that walk down the aisle. You are hugging your friends and the people who got you to the point where you are about the accept the award of your life. You have toiled in obscurity on that screenplay and now you are about to be recognized by a billion people. And now you are walking up on the stage and all of Hollywood is on their feet. They are giving you a standing ovation. GOOD JOB!

And now that speech. You have had it in your head all your life. First I would like to thank the studio and all the people who made it happen. And now you start reeling off the names of your kids and your wife and your parents and your dog. You give shout outs to people who have all been part of your great journey because you have beat the odds and landed on the top of the world. And you are holding that gold statue over your head and you are doing the James Cameron thing. IM ON TOP OF THE WORLD!

But then you get solemn and tearful. You pledge your Oscar to the unknown out there. Kid if I can do it you can. There is not a dry eye in the house. And they have stopped the obnoxious music because it is your moment. I give my Oscar to the great unknown talent who will change the world! Bravo! They just cant give you enough applause and you sign off with: NEVER EVER GIVE UP! And you exit the stage clutching your statue and now it's time for to reap the reward.

You hobnob with every famous person on the planet and fall into bed exhausted. Yes. Yes. You have done it. And then you wake in the morning. Severely depressed. You make your coffee in a fog.  You really have to quit staying up late and watching the Academy Awards.

Rocket Man...the American Dream Upside Down

Poor Oscar

Could they have just let Bob Hope do the Oscars as a hologram or three D figure? Seriously. He would have been better than the Hathaway Franco combo that set a new low for the most uninteresting Oscar night probably in history. Even the F bomb didn't help the Oscars that seemed like a bad made for TV night of reality show proportions. Was it me or did it all just seem like CG filler? Where was Oscar? Where was the soul?

Even old Kirk Douglas could not resuscitate the moribund production values of filling in with all sorts of backgrounds in the round screen arena. Thankfully the right movie won, but there was something about even the King's Speech that got a little squashed in the amped up twenty something cathedral of beautiful people without talent. I mean Hathaway has talent and maybe Franco does, but that quality called humility was sorely lacking and it seemed the children were running the show and not adults. No surprise they ended the show with kids from Stanton Island singing Somewhere over the Rainbow...a high point at last.

Adults are able to laugh at themselves and don't expect others to laugh because they are just too cute for words. Again where were the individuals? Oscar seemed so stiff  he was in danger of breaking in two. Speeches were carefully devoid of just about anything political or social except for Best Documentary where the filmmaker was able to point out nobody had gone to jail for the great Collapse,but then it was on with the show or on with the faces and CG.

Billy Crystal came in and reminded us that real people entertain us and not computers. Did you hear a computer won Jeopardy? Well that would be an exciting show watching computers try and beat each  other for a prize. The most memorable moment was probably Celine Dion singing over the lost souls of Hollywood and that is probably the bar we were looking for:  a dead show eclipsed by someone singing over the departed.

http://www.billhazelgrove.com/
Rocket Man will blast off April 26th