Waffle Men

There is a picture of my dad in his twenties holding a spatula. He had three kids at the time and lived in a small house. He is in his robe and fixing the proverbial weekend breakfast of waffles. So I see this tradition of waffles  fixed by the dad of the house has deep roots. On vacations the waffle men appear and will do a victory run for the whole week of waffles. This is in celebration of the days of leisure.

And all over America this goes on. I don't know about other countries but here fathers fire up the griddle and mix the batter and make sure the syrup is out they start serving up the waffles. The waffle is a classic food because it is so simple. Once the griddle is hot all that is left is to mix up the batter and pour and wait. And while you wait you call out "WHO WANTS WAFFLES?"  Inevitably the sleepy eyes appear.

And then you cant give away enough waffles. You go through a couple bowls of batter and finally everyone is full of dough and syrup. And then the waffle man sits down with his cup of coffee and has his waffles. It is a meal well deserved and the waffle man only sees clear skies.

At least until Monday where cereal returns.

www.williamhazelgrove.com

The PItcher

The Daddy Daughter Dance

No one tells you about these moments. Dads in their suits in a Park District gym eating meatballs and MMs and drinking watery pink lemonade. But it is amazing. The daughters in their dresses and the dads in their suits and everyone is there for a moment. And when you see men dancing with seven year olds, literally holding them off the floor then you know you have stumbled into the great secret of parenthood. You could never describe this gold nugget to someone who has not done it.

And your daughter looks like she is a princess and you are hot in your suit you never wear. But the music is going and you have watched the magician and gotten the balloons and had your picture taken. And it is only an hour and half. A blip. Yet you do glance at the clock as you fast dance to songs you never hear but your daughter knows the words. And the dads are sweating and taking off their coats and eating the meatballs and bad vegetable tray. And the DJ crashes on through the Hokey Pokey and YMCA.

And then you do the slow dances and you see in the men around you with their daughters a moment. It will go too fast. It is already. And you know she wont come with you next year. She is already getting too old. But still you have this moment. You daddy daughter moment that you grab and you slow dance with the very proper young lady. You have the moment now. And you will have it forever.



Rocket Man...the story of a family

Men are as stressed as moms

So says a New York Times article. Apparently men are trying just as hard to juggle fatherhood with making a buck as women are now. The fathers of old don't know how easy they had it. The old days of just going off to work and returning with a martini in the living room before dinner and then a send off kiss to the kids as they troop to bed are long gone. The old Jonathan Franzen Corrections days are DOA. The new dawn of stressed daddydom is here.

You see it everywhere. Men trying to get home to make those kid sports, recitals, concerts, scouts, birthdays. They just cant see to be in all the places all the time. And of course with the two income household now a reality they have to share in the domestics. Do the dishes. Help with the homework. Laundry, etc. But of course the reality is moms still carry the lion share of domestic duties according to the article.

But the stress of not being able to be provider/great dad is very real. There still are some men in the classic mode. I know them. They are gone and have corporate jobs and their wives fill in all the gaps. But they do seem atypical. Even if dads aren't being better dads they wish they could. That is stressful enough.

Rocket Man...being a father shouldn't be this hard
www.billhazelgrove.com


 

Male Fear of the White Condo Cell

Most men have this clearly in their mind. Married men. It is the white  condo cell. The prison term is life or at least until another life begins. But it is the horror that awaits every bad move men make. The white roomed condo cell is where men go after an affair or just being on the losing side of a divorce. Banished to the condo they are now on the hook for alimony and lonely nights innumerable. And lots of support payments.

And it is one of the great secrets. Men have this and woman have being a bag lady. Women see themselves as homeless once they fall out of a marriage. Men see themselves as lonely and broke. And old. The financial penalty for divorce is extreme. A NY Times article pointed out that older boomers are now divorcing in record numbers. Nobody is sure why but people point to longer life expectancy. Maybe people just get tired of being together. But the financial impact is devastating. Penions split. Houses sold. Finances divided.

And for the male the white condo cell. Devoid of furniture with kid toys in the corners and no food in the cabinets it is the cave for the wandering wolf who has lost the pack. The man who is separated from his children, his wife, his home. It is what keeps many men from calling that number given to them at the bar, on the train, at the gym. Men have a very deep fear of being alone. Maybe that is why they remarry so quickly.

For the rest...it is the prison of condo life.

www.billhazelgrove.com
Rocket Man...the novel of suburban hell

Older Dads Cause Autism

The weird increase in autism in the United States (something like 78 percent since 2000) has finally been linked not to the environment or older moms or vaccinations or aliens or eating lead or working mothers or too many vitamins or not breast feeding or fertility drugs but to MEN. Older dads. Seems that dads in their forties possess a sperm with a faulty DNA and this produces autism and schizophrenia As if being a dad wasn't hard enough, not there is DAD GUILT over potentially giving your kid autism.

I guess the cut off is thirty five and then things get strange. But the evidence is conclusive. Older mothers are just fine but older dads not so much. Those sperm just cant be trusted and they are giving us a nation of kids who don't talk and live pretty much in their own world. So says the NY Times at least .But it was the big question. Why had autism skyrocketed and why can no one focus?It would seem ADD is the syndrome of the day and then of course you say, well why wern't these kids around before?

And of course the response is they work but nobody knew it. Hmmm.  They sure did a good job of hiding in clear sight in the classroom then. And then the response is they were all kept home. Really? I don't think so. A nation of ADD kids or autistic kids being hidden away? But maybe. We have all suspected something is wrong with our Ritalin nation and why cant anyone make the grade without drugs anymore. Well, now we know. It is DADS fault.

Isnt it always?

www.billhazelgrove.com

Summer Has Ended

Our kids are going back to school now. They have all collected at their bus stops and marched off leaving their turtles and dogs and cats and chalk and bikes and tricycles and bathing suits and goggles behind. They have left their friendly garages scrawled with stick men and names on the cool cement that smells of gas and bikes and grass. They no longer go barefoot in the yard and listen to the crickets and run after the fireflies and catch bugs in a jar. They are no longer roasting marshmallows and getting chocolate on their hands and tracking in dirt or letting the wet dog in for the hundredth time.

We are no longer lighting charcoal and eating with them on our patios or decks or on that broken picnic table. They are not inside on the hot days watching television for hours. They aren't taking that sweaty bike ride with their parents that ends up at the ice cream store. Their paper plates are no where to be found. Their cups of Kool Aide are empty. They aren't siting around a  table at the Dairy Queen on a warm summer night with ice cream dripping all over their hands. Their rooms are not perpetually a wreck with wet suits and clothes stacked up from the week. They are not coming back from summer camp with mosquito bites and warm brows. Their books and their IPODS and their computers and their dolls and their basketballs, baseballs, footballs, lacrosse sticks, mitts, all lay dormant now.

For summer has ended even though it is still August. They have lined up for their yellow buses and waved goodbye to parents who snapped pictures and waved and shouted and then tried to catch a glimpse of them as they rode away in disel exhaust for eight hours. We return to our homes, our work. It is quiet. We go through our days. We make our money and work out and run through the TO DO lists of our lives. But in the unguarded moment we are heartbroken.

Summer has ended and our children have gone away.

http://www.billhazelgrove.com/

Rocket Man Kindle The story of a one mans search for the American Dream

Men Don't Read

You start out writing a novel and you have no idea what the audience will be and if you will have an audience. Then the reviews start to come in and people say, well it's about the forty something generation or it is about the American Dream or it is an anti-hero novel or it is a bad novel or a good novel or a brilliant novel or that it is no novel at all. Once you pass one hundred review mark then all bets are off. But one thing that has surprised me about Rocket Man is how many people have said it was a dad novel. True, the main character is trying to give his son a sense of individuality against crushing conformity, but I thought that was just part of the larger story. BookDads was the first review that made me rethink this book. http://www.bookdads.com/2008/12/rocket-man/The review came in and I thought, oh, well good, maybe this can help fathers with their sons or give someone else a sense they are not alone going through the craziness of fatherhood. Then a couple more reviews and I started to realize that maybe I had written a book about man and his son. Then I searched the sites for dads and books. There are hundreds if not thousands of them. You always assume men don't read, but it would seem there are more than a few literate dads out there looking for a good read. I guess you never can tell who your audience will be, maybe it's just good you have one at all.

http://www.billhazelgrove.com