Man Volume

I was in a friends basement the other day when his wife said for him to turn down the music.  "I really cant stand Man Volume." That was the phrase she used. And it really got me to thinking how men are beat from the start. The hunters who are now the providers who become the domestic engineers. And the warrior  shall be restricted to mancaves or bars. There shall be no Man Volume in the house.

And when you have children and move to the suburbs Man Volume is further submerged under making a buck and being a role model. Daddy can not be cranking Black Sabbath while telling his kid to not smoke pot. And so the stereo becomes the last crackling fire on the plains of the War Party. Lest the warrior get too smoky his squaw will come over and douse the flames. "I really hate Man Fires!" And so the warrior grudgingly snuffs his fire.

And this is nothing new. Men become steadily domesticated much like dogs as they get older. They start out frisky and wild and by the end docility moves in and they are left with the Volume  Control as their only totem to their own unbridled youth and to who they were. And even then as U2 or Coldplay or some Zep starts to creep to the halfway mark this too is extinguished with the ruling hand of home and hearth(Turn that Man Volume Down!) ...lest that atavistic  warrior rears his head again.

But when the wife is out of the house and the kids are at school....
 MAN VOLUME BABY!

www.williamhazelgrove.com
The Pitcher

The Effect of Social Media on Relationships

There is a new guy in your house now be you married or not. He hangs around waiting for someone to talk to him. He is always on. Even if someone forgets about him for a while it is amazing how fast he can be up and ready to go. And you may have just had a fight with your husband or wife and Mr. Saturday Night steps in. He is always fun. Always interesting. And his is chock full of information. It's like the guy sits around reading and he never complains.

And just like that he is at your dinner table. You are eating your mashed potatoes while he is munching on the steak and your wife is talking to him not you. Your husband is engrossed in a conversation with the guy like you don't exist. And you really don't since this guy moved in. He never goes to bed. You see your spouse up at night and the guy is in the bed! Enough is enough you point out but that just makes it worse. And the guy always has a light on.

Even when you travel he comes along. You think he would get a hint but there he is piping up with his funny little noises. Even when you make love the guy is flashing lights at you. He has no boundaries and the worst thing is you get the feeling your wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend would rather be talking to him than you.

Your only chance is to go someplace where the guy cant plug in. Maybe then he will get the hint and just turn off. Maybe then you can have a decent conversation. At least until he gets his batteries charged.

www.williamhazelgrove.com
The PItcher...Sometimes a dream is all you have