Book Trailer The Noble Train

Friday, March 13, 2020

The Great Toilet Paper Run During the Pandemic of 2020

There isn't any! The man is running down the aisle with that look. You know the Covid19 look of panic. The virus could be in the next aisle or in the next checkout line. It is nine AM but he and I have just found out we are too late. The Great Toilet Paper Run of the 2020 pandemic is on. What is it about toilet paper that people feel they must have. The food aisles are full, meat is in abundance, water is flowing. Cleaning products are still to be found. But toilet paper is a great vast space on the shelves next to the paper towels.

It is a primal need. One must have toilet paper. Apparently the colonists settled for corncobs when nothing else was available. The famous Sears Roebuck catalogs of the nineteenth and early twentieth century was to to be found in many outhouses all over America. Just tear a page out and you were set. Before that maybe people didn't use anything. During times of plague maybe it just wasn't a concern. But now we have people who are buying mass quantities. Some are suspected of entering the toilet paper black market with their purchases and getting top dollar for people to have the privilege of being able to still have their necessities.

But I have been given my charge. Do not come back without toilet paper. The man who declared we were too late is frantically going up and down the aisle and is now staring at the last rolls of paper towels. That is a rough alternative but necessity is the mother of invention. I turn around and see a large brown box in the aisle. Some stocking employee had left it there and inside I see an eight roll pack. I grab it and run for the checkout, passing the man who had just settled on the last roll of paper towels. I found the last one, I shout. He stares at me and shakes his head...SHIT!


William Hazelgrove

Books by William Hazelgrove