Thursday, March 31, 2011

Be Glad You Aren't Retired

Grooving with the Greatest Generation makes me glad I am not retired. Retirement is an antiquated term. It brings up the thirty year job and thirty year mortgage. It brings up death. You should be glad you are not retired. In Florida the ritual is one of steady dementia. Rise and shuffle to breakfast with your oxygen and take your dog for a walk and sit by a pool and read the local paper. The world goes on while you drink your coffee and have your bagels and orange juice and you read and read because this will kill the morning. Clean up your dishes and get ready for your mid morning nap after a fist full of drugs so you can keep breathing.

Then it's off to play cards or bingo or shuffleboard. Maybe swim in your small pool. Probably not. Take your dog for a walk in your complex in your golf cart. The dog runs along side of you. You come back and have your lunch and take your afternoon meds and then it's nap time again. Get up and head for a blue light special or start your dinner. Food is the thing. Food is your drug now. That and the glass of wine or the martini that puts you on your ass because you have very little resistance to anything. But you get  buzzed and eat whatever the hell you want because you are already on blood thinners.

Then its Jeopardy. Back to back shows. You have already finished the days Crossword Puzzle to keep the noodle rolling. Jeopardy is your final intellectual excercise. Then maybe Cash Cab. CSI. Who Wants To Be Anything. Then it doesn't matter because you watch it all at rock concert levels because you are stone deaf. You watch hours and hours of television because there is simply not much else to do. Finally you decide to go to bed. Roll your oxygen into the bedroom, take your meds, let the dog out. Then its goodnight Irene to start all over again the next day. You have been parked in the boot of a country that hoped it would die before it got old. Be glad you aren't retired.

Rocket Man will blast off April 26th

Books by William Hazelgrove