Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Driving Vacation

We recently went to Florida. We drove. Plane fares were high. You know so let's take the family vacation and drive. This goes all the way back to when I was a kid and we took driving vacations across the country. Fond memories of being in the back of a station wagon with dad driving and mom navigating What fun! So we begin. The drive immediately asserts itself as an exercise of interminable boredom. That is what you forget. That there is absolutely nothing to do for twenty three hours. Except to eat.

And we ate. McDonalds. Panera. Burger King. Every gas station under the sun where we bought just about every thing they had to offer. And then you sit in your electric chair and don't move. I drive and drive and drive. The landscape is interesting for a while and then it is not. It is just scenery to the brain thudding exercise of driving a car down a road with trucks and cars and people honking and cutting you off. What fun!

And the car becomes a rolling garbage truck. Amazing the amount of garbage such a trip can produce. But we start to fill up and have to unload at every stop and fill fifty five gallon drums with  our fast food detritus. And then we get close and push through and by now you are bleary eyed and bloated from sitting and eating for two days. You have come to hate the capsule you have been stuck in for two days and swear never ever to do this again.

And when you arrive you feel like a voyager who has reached a distant planet. You will never do this again. NO more Wallyworld. No more Chevy Chase in Vacation. You are done. Sure you are.


Books by William Hazelgrove