Monday, November 10, 2014

What Really Happened to the Chicago Bears

I just got word of what really happened to the Chicago Bears. The Green Bay Packers hired a mercenary outfit to pull a switch over Lake Michigan. Yes. The real Bears took off from Ohare but somewhere in the darkness their plane was diverted to a remote island called Peoria and a decoy plane landed in Wisconsin full of a DUPLICATE Chicago Bears team that was recruited from the Barnum and Baily Circus with effects provided by Hollywood.

Take Jays first interception and the sleep don't give a crap expression after Green Bay scored. Upon careful examination you can tell that Jays normal don't give a crap expression is more dour more hung over if you will. Or take the defense. The circus players had no knowledge of football and had to be careful not to let their make rub off. That was why Green Bay scored every time they had the ball. Of course the decoy players were schooled in Bears Defense which is why they allowed the defense to score every time but the real Bears would actually allowed them to score faster!

But the dead giveaway was the runback by Williams. This was so  out of character clearly for the Bears that I immediately knew something was up. And then of course the coach. Ha. Does anybody really think that little guy with glasses who stands there with his thumb up his ass as his team gets pulverized is our real coach? In fact he is but he his stand in was brilliant when he said one more time that they were an elite team.

So I tracked down the REAL Chicago Bears at a Holiday Inn in Peoria. They were all in the pool drinking crappy watered down drinks and partying like it was 1985. Only one man can bring them back safely....I don't want to say his name...but........................DITKA!
Real Santa

Books by William Hazelgrove