Dirty Sexy Books

Meghan McCain is making all the stops with her celeb book Dirty Sexy Politics. You can almost see John McCain's daughter sitting in a room with the publisher trying to figure out a title for a book about nothing. Put her on the cover with an elephant. Sex sells. Dirty sex sells more. Dirty Sexy Politics. The perfect black to McCain's white. The renegade daughter telling all the dirty sexy secrets of John McCain's political campaign. After her horror over Sarah Palin, I ask you, does anybody really want to hear the dirty sexy secrets of John McCain's campaign?

Probably not. But the book of nothing is the rage. You merely have to be related to someone famous or do something outrageous for a book. But publishers know these books have no shelf life. The book of nothing is mind candy that gets old fast so the only chance is the talk show circuit, the title, and the cover. If the author is good looking, outspoken, media savvy, and sexy, then so much the better. Even Rachel Maddow bowed to the mechanics of celebrity publishing by asking no questions on substance. Or maybe there wasn't anything to ask.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "all cheap entertainment is immoral...it is heroin of the soul." Celebrity books give that heroin with the promise of nothing more than maybe a salacious secret. We hope for an inside scoop, some sort of peeping through the keyhole for the price of a hardcover. Meghan was horrified with her father's pick of Sarah Palin. We all were. But once we know the secret and have looked at the pictures, then the book is worthless. We have no more emotional attachment to it than the empty wrapper of a candy bar, proving the point that fame without talent is an empty wrapper.

So Meghan McCain will do the tour with her Dirty Sexy Politics book and then she will finish with that and the book will fall from view and it will be dead. There are no redeeming qualities for the book of nothing. Literature, while quiet in it's launch, does have staying power. Simply because we invest something of ourselves in the story and while it may not be sexy, and the cover may be staid, we put it on our shelf to be read again. Maybe, just to know that there is something more to the world than dirty sexy books.

William Hazelgrove's latest novel Rocket Man is due out in the fall
www.billhazelgrove.com

THAT ONE

That one. McCain's slip of the toungue--the Greatest Generations gaffe. THAT ONE. Maybe you saw the debate and remember the moment: You know who voted for the bill...THAT ONE. Does it get any more racial? That one. Color it how you want it. Read the polls that show everyone around McCains age is voting for him. Now why is that? Experience. The Greatest Generation is big on experience, but they are bigger on being white. Black guy with Ray Bans. I don't think so. Skinny black guy in a suit who talks alot and twists the English language around to roll out a call to change. No way. Not to make the world safe for democracy. They didn't have skinny black guys running for President then. Take the old guy pointing the finger in the rumpled suit who talks about war and patriotism. Not that one. He's the other. He's the secret in the voting booth the Greatest Generation will eliminate with a quick alzhaimer moment--he's that black guy...that one! Nope. Pull it for the Irish white guy. Not that one, you know his name....some Muslin name. Nope. Krauts. Japs. Whops. Kikes. THAT ONE. Cha ching! Done. Pull back the curtain. God Bless America.

Jacksonian Democracy and Palins Demise

When Sara Palin imploded in the Katie Couric interview it brougth up a painful question: Do we, as Americans want someone smart or dumb to run our country? We picked someone dumb for the last eight years. He made us feel safe. He made us feel like he was one of us. No one felt left out with Bush. The moron vote as it came to be known. Actually, this all goes back much further, back to Andrew Jackson. He was just a solider who became President, but what he did was he took the spoils system one step futher and put all his friends in his cabinet. Quite literally there were no politicians in Jackson's admistration and Jacksonian democracy came to be called rule by the common people. So what do we have in Palin? When Couric asked her what Supreme Court decisions did she not agree with, she had no answer. She stumbled. She talked nonsense. Suddenly the hockey mom was in the car telling junior not to forget his skates and his mouth guard and oh, you forgot your bottled water. Sara Palin had suddenly reached her level of incompentence and it was painful. It wasnt' so much that she couldnt' answer the question, it was that she didn't have the authority to say, you know what, I'm not that familiar with Supreme Court decisions, except for Roe V Wade. Instead she stumbled around because of intellectual insecurity. It was painful to watch. Now she is going to debate and maybe she will pull it out, but the cat is out of the bag and the hockey mom just can't quite get by with her sassy mouth and good looks. At the national level people dont get points for just looking good or being witty--you have to deliver something. And like the Jackson administration, people are horrified. We prattle on about rule of the common man, but we have Congress now staying up all night to pass a bailout because rule of the common man did not work out. George Bush is common in that he is not a smart man and we had decided somewhere as a nation we didn't like smart people anymore. Unfortunately for Sara Palin, the country just changed its mind and decided maybe smart people arent such a bad thing. Democracy is good in theory, but let's not get carried away. Let the hockey moms be hockey moms, and let's leave politics to someone who at least can face down Katie Couric.

Top Gun

Right into the danger zone...right into the danger zone....
"Maverick!"
"Yes sir."
"If you do another fly by with your walker then you're out."
"Yes sir."
"Another thing you never EVER leave your wingman."
"Yes sir."
"Turncoat would forgive you but I won't."
Maverick pauses, leaning forward.
"Sir we were surrounded by FRCC's."
"You mean Far Right Chrisitan Coalitions."
"Yes sir..and well Turncoat is Jewish sir and he's short and you know, is in favor of a womans right to choose."
"That may be, but first of all the FRCC's don't even know what a Jew is and you're just going to have to acccept the fact that Turncoat is different, but he's loyal and gone through hell to be your wingman."
"Well sir, I was kind of thinking maybe Youbetcha might be my wingman"
"Cadet Palin is too new. I know she's the new hotshot, but she doesn't have enough experience yet."
"Yes sir."
"Dismissed.
Maverick walks into the hall.
"What happened?"
"Don't worry Turncoat, you're still my wingman."
"Phew, thanks Mav, I won't let you down."
"Wait a minute, I have to talk to Youbetcha for a moment."
"Hello Maverick."
"Youbetcha."
"About that seminar the other day. I wanted to let you know, I really didn't think your speech during the Obama nomination was the worst Id ever seen, but I couldn't let anyone else know I had fallen for you and wanted to be your wingman. The way you handled yourself with the FRCCs was really something."
"Thanks Youbetcha."
"Well...gotta go big boy."
"See you around Youbetcha."
Right into the danger zone...right into the dangerzone.
"Mav! Mav! There are FRCCs all around us."
"I see them Turncoat."
Maverick thinking...Never Leave My Wingman Never Leave My Wingman..
"Mav! There's even more of them!"
"Don't worry Turncoat, I'll hit the brakes and they'll fly right by."
"Mav, there's something coming through the headset."
"That's Raisin McCain, Turncoat, my song."
"You have a song?"
"Big hit from country bar to country bar, Turncoat."
"Mav, Mav...more FRCC's!"
" The brake thing didn't work...listen Turncoat, I think we have make a change here."
"What do you mean?"
"Well...I think I'm going with Youbetcha for my wingman."
"Mav, what about Country first?'
"You got that wrong, Turncoat , that was Me First."
"Mav, don't hit the ejector--MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV!"
Maverick lands on the Carrier.
"YOU!"
Youbetcha turns, tossing her hair.
"Ya, Maverick."
"You are hot, viscious, you can talk, you can field dress a moose, your married to the first dude, and the FRCCS love you. Besides, you can steer me around on stage when I dont know what to do."
"Are you saying, you want me to be your wingman, Maverick?"
"Youbetchayourassa."


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