Delusional Newt

Hmm...remember the kid who held his breath until he got his way? Remember he would turn red and his cheeks would blow up like balloons with his arms crossed, head wagging, eyes puffing, turning red then blue, nearly passing out....well, that's Newt. Doesn't matter if he loses every primary he is going to stay in. Delusional is a word that come to mind followed by farcical, fanciful, conspiratorial, sad, pathetic, pomposity, bellicose, moronic, nearsighted, bellicose, megalomaniac, stoned, dim-witted...Ok Ok. You get the point. But the point is that Newt will never quit. Never.

He can't. If he quits then he disappears into Newt Land. Ghostwritten books, multiple wives, snarky lobbying, flim-flam organizations, influence pedaling, space colonies. And he wants to be around to throw those final grenades at Santroum and Mitt. Why? Because if he cant win then nobody is going to win. This guy has an ego that just keeps giving like gas or toxic waste or raidoatcive sludge. Newt is not good for anybody except Newt. He certainly isn't good for the Republican party.

So now as Santorum and Romney march along, Newt is devising a grand strategy for an end run on Super Tuesday. Hmmm. Lets see. If the earth tilts to the right and Romney falls into the Mormon sea and Santorum's nose bends a little more to the right, then I can claim victory by default and if that doesn't work I can storm the convention, give a speech without a teleprompter, tell everyone I am the greatest thinker since Jefferson Washington and Lincoln, scratch that, greater than Lincoln Jefferson and Washington and that Brad Pitt will have his hands full playing me in a movie (his pick for actors to play him) and that I will come down and personally kick the liberal elite media squarely in the gonads.

Then I will fly off in a spaceship where I will run the country from a colony on the moon called NEWTLAND. Yeah, that will work.

http://www.billhazelgrove.com/

The President Has One Shot Left to Jump start Housing

The American Jobs Bill is taking water fast since the Speaker and the boys have already said they won't increase taxes for nuthin. Uh Uh. Not going to do it. The fourteen month countdown is here and like the wrestler ahead by two points all they have to do is hang on and let the economy tank and it's game over for Obama and crew. But the President does have one bullet left and it will be his last shot. It could save the economy and his Presidency.

Here it is. Forget about the Jobs Bill. It is too scatter shot anyway. What he should do and really has to do is give the American people back their homes. He can do this and he won't need congress. He can order Fannie and Freddie to immediately change their guidelines and refinance anyone with good credit regardless of the the value of their homes. Anyone. Millions would move to lower rates and get two months off in the process and get their escrow money back. Massive cash infusion for the middle class.

Secondly. Give a ten thousand dollar incentive for anyone buying a new home. It worked before and it will work again. Get people buying homes again. Third. Order all the banks who hold second mortgages to subordinate to the first lien position. The second loans are strangling homeowners by not allowing them to refinance. Third. Give the market back it's equity. Make it illegal to count foreclosures and short sales in comps for appraisals. These should not be counted. They are aberrational and taking away the value for homeowners who have been paying their mortgages on time.

Why do this? Because the crash started with housing and it will end with housing. This was not a normal boom and bust cycle. The crash occurred because lending was broken when the derivative market blew. The middle class backs their hand with their homes. Everything they do comes from this asset. Give the housing market back it's value and middle class people will start to buy again. Hiring will follow. But here is the real reason: The effect would be immediate.

Forget about tax cuts for businesses. Nothing will trickle down. It has to go up. This is what the economists don't get. This is what mortgage brokers and real estate agents know. The President could save his Presidency by doing this. But he has to do it now. He has to focus. Because this is his last shot.

http://www.billhazelgrove.com/

Rocket Man...sometimes a house is not a home

Republican Debate From the Viewpoint of the dog and the coyote

The Dog
You know I really think Mitt could have done better if he just didn't strap me to the roof of his car and drive to Canada. Hasn't he heard about the SPCA? I'm a dog! I'm not that dead grandmother in National Lampoons Vacation although Mitt does seem a lot like Chevy Chase now that I think about it. But it's no wonder he looked kind of wimpy next to the Coyote killer from Texas. A man who would strap a dog to the roof of the family car can't be expected to be the great defender of Social Security. He sure wimped out of that one. He didn't call it a ponzi scheme but he didnt' defend it either.

The problem with a guy like Mitt is that he saw nothing wrong with putting me on the roof and letting me end up with bugs in my teeth and my ears permanently blown back. When we got to Canada he's like, how'd you like the ride Rover? Imagine what a guy like that will do to the American people? He just doesn't get it. He thinks it's perfectly fine for a dog to inhale a seventy mile an hour wind for six hours! So I looked like someone had just blown back my hair with a blast furnace. To Mitt everything was just fine. You know why? Because he rode in the nice warm car below while I froze my tail off! Is that the kind of guy you want for your President? Woof.

The Coyote:

That aint nothing.  Let me ask you this: what kind of a guy goes jogging with a .380 Ruger with hollow point bullets? Think about that one. Let's see sweats, socks, tennis shoes, headband, IPOD, Ruger. Come on. Somebody with some serious issues carries a gun when they for their workout. Can anybody say PARANOID. PSYCHO. WACJOB. I can because I'm the one that he shot at! First of all let me say for the record that wasn't his puppy I was sniffing after. And secondly what business was it of his. In fact I was just walking across the field to see what all the commotion was when BLAM BLAM BLAM. I look up and see this WAC JOB in a powder blue workout suit with those over sized headphones like out of that movie Starsky and Hutch, unloading like' John Wayne.

This is a residential neighborhood and the guy is shooting up the place like it's the OK Corral. Do you really want a guy to be your President who packs when he goes for his morning jog? Or starts shooting at some innocent Coyote because I was crossing a field and there happens to be a puppy on the other side? Imagine what this guy would do to people who need a little extra help though hard times. BLAM BLAM BLAM. That'll take care of them. I mean and then the guy reloads and fires another full clip at me! Yeesh. Come on. Is that normal? Do you want some psycho in a powder blue workout suit with headphones listening to Yanni blasting away at your dog? Because I could have been your dog, we look about the same.

Anyway. I don't. And he wont get my vote or any other Coyotes. And as far as that puppy is concerned. It turned out he was stuffed animal someone left in their garbage. Mr. Secessionist  didn't tell you that one did he? Mr. Powder Puff protecting Snoopy from the big bad Wile E Coyote. Give me a break. I'm telling you and you heard it here first, you dont' want this guy for your President. Because this guy is straight out nuts!

http://www.billhazelgrove.com/
Rocket Man

Mr. Perry Comes to Washington

Those Texans. They have their guns and their horses and their hats and all that land of cactus and sagebrush and land. Think Giant with Rock Hudson and now Obama is James Dean trying to get a toehold on the big ranch of jobs. Mr. Perry just  comes a blazing with his six guns shouting JOBS JOBS JOBS and the town folk are impressed. There haven't been jobs in these parts for a long long time and now comes this big Texan saying now you listen and you listen tight! Were going to get the jobs and were going to get them now.

The President is nervous on his pony. Mr. Perry has a big American stud and a large hat and he has the jobs or so he says. And now that is half the battle isn't it? The assumptive close. Say it and it will come true. This evangelical secessionist swaggering governor could just upset the whole applecart with his Texan ways. There is a reason people hate Texans. They brag. They swagger. They assume they are better than everyone else and more of a man for that matter.

And I'm not sure the President is really up for Mr. Perry. I don't know if Mr. Perry knows any high faluting words like bipartisanship or compromise. God is on his side anyway and he don't have to compromise if he don't want too. He does have a Reagan swagger. The question is how big is his boot and will he stick it all the way in his mouth? Only time will tell, but President Obama better saddle up, because there is a new sheriff in town.

http://www.billhazelgrove.com/
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